Wednesday, January 11, 2012

...I licked a lean cuisine tray?

Ok first thing, if you read the title and it was in the voice of Jennifer Gray when she says in Dirty Dancing "I carried a watermelon?" We should be fast friends, period.

So today I did REALLY well, but I've been finding my success is tied with not having options. I left my debit card at home Monday and Tuesday and had no cash, so I had to eat what I brought or had at work, this was good. Today, I brought my wallet to work and thank

 I started my day with a bowl of cherrios (and no, not a bowl the size of my head but a sensible 1cup serving) and yogurt, then a Lean Cuisine for lunch which I DEVOURED. Seriously, I licked the tray and might had nibbled on it a bit if I didn't think my employees would judge me when they saw it in the trash. Then a hot pocket, that admittedly was probably in the fridge to long because when I cooked it, it was... suspect. At that point, if I hadn't had my wallet I don't know what I would have done, probably eaten the Hot Pocket and paid for it dearly on the ride home in a gas station bathroom. So, Subway to the rescue! Turkey flat bread with loads of veggies really hit the spot.

Honestly, I've been really successful lately because I'm looking in the mirror more. I stand in front of the full mirror in my bedroom and force myself to look at my body, naked. And I'm not happy with it, I don't feel sexy or attractive. And I've stopped making excuses for myself. The other night it was 10:30 and I was still awake and KNEW I should probably do some work on the treadmill or the Wii but I didn't want to change, and I'd be going to bed soon anyways and it would only be 20 minutes. So I checked facebook once more and my friend posted about finally not feeling like his body was struggling against a 30 minutes walk on the treadmill, and how nice that was. So, onto the treadmill I got, pink fuzzy slippers and all! I did a steady 15 minutes and felt good. And every morning since I have watched Nate Berkus and The View (Don't judge me, you've got vices too and I bet it's something shameful like Jersey Shore)  from atop my treadmill!

I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY. I ate an entire bag of carrots today.  I'm convinced I'm going to get orange skin. I drink 60oz of water a day and while I feel better I've got the bladder of an old man. I'm getting up 2 times a night at least to pee. But I'm just sick of being so fat. There is no way I can crane my head so I don't have a double chin and I actually refuse to let people take my picture.

I'm one day closer to being "sit down pretty"

1 comment:

  1. I need to tell you that I, as well, ate a whole bag of carrots yesterday - it's sad, it's gross, it's just wrong. BUT it was better then eating a bag of chips (at least I am telling myself that).