Friday, January 6, 2012

Put down the reese's pieces!

OK, so seriously me and McDonalds are fighting. A LOT. For a little background, I work in retail management in a mall, right outside the food court. I literally can SEE the food court from  my store.  So one of my regulars walks in with FUCKING POPCORN CHICKEN from McDonalds. Dear McDonalds, didn't I TELL you I was trying to be good and resist the tempation of trans fat laced chicken hunks? No.. well my bad, I am. 

So anyways, I've had a tuna fish sandwich, two cheese sticks, some "McBites" .. Ok, more than some. I got the sna... regular... ck sized portion. They were "EH". 

So anyways, I live in NH, and we're going to take a little First in the Nation Primary detour.. Rick Fucking Santorum. He makes me want to stand on the sidewalk where ever he's campaigning holding a sign that says "As Rick Santorum gains ground in the polls and commentators increasingly speak of him as if he's not a dangerous, raving zealot, please do remember that Karen Santorum's lifesaving medical intervention is different than the abortions that Santorum wishes to outlaw only in that the woman getting the lifesaving medical intervention was Karen Santorum" 

Or, would that be to long? Yeah.. to long. and "Get out of New Hampshire you crazy fucking idiot" would get me no brownie points with anyone. So stay posted, I'm crafting a clever tweet or two to fire his way and hopefully have it go viral in the "Live Free or Die" state and beyond. 

Back to drinking water and eating imaginary food.


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