Stress. It comes on heavy and thick, and it coats everything in the same bland but infuriating color. No matter how much I try to separate parts of my life from others they drip together. Stress at work gets lumped in with stuff at home, and home stress gets splattered all over the place. It's like boiling spaghetti sauce. You didn't mean to leave the lid off, but now everything from the toaster to the fridge is misted in red and you just want to curl up on the kitchen floor and scream. Scream until you're hoarse and your neighbors call the cops.
I haven't quite figured out how to get stress to not stick around. It just builds up in my system like lead poisoning, one day I'm fine and the next I can't form a sentence that isn't laced with gritty annoyance. And all the trickle down effects make it worse! Like I'm stressed, so I stress eat, then I get mad at myself for stress eating and I'm more stressed, and disappointed. Or I'm stressed with things in my personal life, it melts into work and I feel guilty because no one deserves to get hit with the crossfire.
And that's all, I'm sure I could write pages of sarcastic dribble that would make you laugh, but that just means I'm hitting my readers with hot spaghetti sauce too. And I wont do that to you, because it burns.
Hey Kristen, Hang in ther!! One of the hardest things I deal with is eating when stressed, depressed or some form other kind of emotional issue. Food unlike other addictions is something we cannot live without. You can live without booze, drugs, etc but we have to have food to keep the bodies going. I'm in this with you. We love you very much!
ReplyDeletePS... I love your writing!